Here I am again sitting in bed, still stuck with the same parts I was born with. I’m fourteen but that doesn’t stop me from not feeling weird. Maybe I’ll dream of what’s it’s like to be a real boy and called Alex by everyone. Maybe people will listen to me when I tell them I’m transgender, maybe they’ll realize how much of a deal it is. I can’t help but fall into the hole I’ve created for myself. Maybe when I hold my friends hand they’ll stop calling me a lesbian, but rather a guy trying to help his pal out. When any other pair hold hands they’re known as friends, but people have seen me kiss girls as a girl so I’m immediately called lesbian. I’d much rather be called gay, but guys don’t even want to hang out wit me because they knew beforehand that I was biologically female. I hate the breast and the vagina, if I could I’d snap my fingers to get rid of them.
Maybe when I finally get to high school kids will hang out with me, perhaps even think I’m a guy for at least a little bit. Maybe my boyfriend and I will still be together and he’ll still love me like he does now. Maybe people will finally accept me. I just want to feel accepted and called by the right name. Should I secretly come out as trans to everyone and make sure the school won’t tell my mom? I just want to be in a place were my kind is accepted.
I hope High school will be okay, I still want to grow up to become a lawyer or go into performing arts, maybe I can continue to direct plays like my middle school one. Maybe I’ll finally be accepted. I want everyone to know what it’s like. I want every child at my school hear what I have to say, yet the principal who says she likes me won’t even let me make a video to show the students. I want them to listen, to hear, to know how what they say affects the people around them.
I want to be that one kid in the pride parade that goes up to protestors and tell them how we should be able to be what we want. I want to hear them tell me it’s sinful, because I already know what they’re gonna say. If being gay and trans truly is sinful then I’m prepared to party with the devil because I didn’t choose who I am. I am me and I just needed to figure out who that was. So fly little bird, fly. As long as you keep flying and dont fall you can go far.
-Your friendly fourteen year old supporter,