Hello! My name is Mia and I’m a female! I’m gonna just start off simple.. maybe around when I was 5 or 7..
Around 5 years old, I began to see things. Such as tall shadows, figures, or people nobody else around me could see. It didn’t freak me out because when I was young I believed that everything was good. Until when I turned 7, and on my birthday, I was sitting in my room. I was playing with dolls or some toy and I saw a figure walk out of my closet. It’s face was so deformed and it had horns and a long tail with a spade at the end. I don’t remember exactly what it said or what I did so I’m just gonna leave it there.
When I was 12, first going into 6th grade, I began to develop depression and social anxiety. Mainly because kids and teens are SO cruel in 6th grade. There was also tons of drama, too. I remember around Halloween I got a girlfriend. Let me remind you around this time I began to also get attractions to females. Her name, let’s just say.. Laura. Me and Laura started off great! I would bring her gifts, treats and talk to her a lot. Although I did all this for her.. she never really gave me anything in return. Not that it matters I just expected a hug or something, you know? Anyways- One day as me and her were walking to our busses, she turned and kissed my cheek. Extra detail, some 8th grade kids walked by and started saying, ‘Awww.’ (LOL). I was so embarrassed but if I’m being honest it was nice. Almost everyday, though, I’d go home and cry cause I missed her and ever since I came out to my parents.. well.. they never let me hang out with girls. But one day I got Laura’s dad’s number and Laura came over! Since my parents are like, really strict, we had to sit somewhere they could see us. Me and Laura played chess, laid on the trampoline and just had a good time.
The worst part is, Laura.. thought I was too clingy. So the day before Halloween, she broke up with me. But another bad part, me and Laura had plans to go out with my friends for Halloween. I was Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh, and she was a bloody bride; I wonder why. I was sad the entire time and me and Laura barely talked. But I’m also so thankful for my close friend, let’s call her Sara. She talked to me and cheered me up and I got the courage to talk to Laura – as a friend.
After all that, it’s summer break! Now don’t judge me but I play Roblox, an online game where, ‘Imagination is powerful’, or whatever they say. I felt super lonely and stuff so I went on a game called Club Iris. There, some girl walked up to me and chatted, ‘Hey there!’. It was a nice person and I friended them. A few weeks later, she was finally online and we both joined a game together. I asked her if she could join me and we both went to a game called Vibe Room. There, I asked what her name was, (Terra), and asked for her number. We started texting and eventually showed each other what we look like. She was really pretty.. anyways. We started dating and I found out she lived close to me! I was happy thinking we could last forever and that one day we would meet each other. I constantly told her how amazing she was and it just seemed so perfect.
Until my parents found out.
They forced me to break up with her and block her from my life – but I never did – and I was just so sad.
Moving on! Just a few weeks ago, I’ve been starting to gender question, wanting to become a boy named Alex. I began to speak to people like my mom, her Christian therapist guy’, and counselors. It seemed like apparently, (to the Christian guy- who apparently, God speaks through) said there was a spirit named Alex, (which is what I wanted my name to be if I became a boy), trying to take over me. I was freaked out and began to see shadows in my room. This one night I closed my eyes and saw my door. There was a figure standing there and every time I blinked in this ‘dream’ it got closer. Until it got so close I could see it’s face; horribly deformed. I told my mom and spoke to the therapist. He said that’s the spirit. Then all of a sudden I began to feel like one second I was happy the other I was mad or angry. It was weird.
Yesterday, my mom gave me a chakra necklace, which apparently has ‘powers’ or something. I feel so at peace now. My mom also told me I am perfect who I am and that God put me here for a purpose, (yes I believe and worship God), which made me feel awesome.
Now I’m writing this, hoping to share my story with the world. And maybe some of the people I put in my story might be reading this. Sorry if it was confusing. Thanks for reading!