I have been having a problem with overthinking about things for quite some time… one topic inparticular. I am constantly worried that my fiance is bringing porn in the house and watching it. I know most people are fine with it or can turn their headds, but I cant. It is on my mind everyday, to the point that I am always checking his computer, I check all his disks that are unmarked and even some that are marked because I am afraid that he has marked them as something else just so I wont find out what they really are. At first it started out as just jealousy and trying to get all porn out of the house if I found it, now it is more about trying to catch my fiance lying to me. It is so bad I have thought about putting cameras up where he keeps his computers. I check the lotion bottles and if I find a hair in the cap I know he has been doing something and assume he was watching porn. I realize everyone pleases themselves, but my ocd wont leave me alone. It runs my life, everytime he ,leaves the house, I am all over the place trying to see if he has anything stashed. He knows I check his computer, and was fine with it, but didnt know how bad this was till abot 2 weeks ago. I told him I need help, and I dont know where to get it. We have tried to talk things out and I told him I have caught him lying in the past about watching, he finally admitted to me about that. Now we fight because I keep asking why he lied to begin with. It will start that I am just asking him questions for a little help in understanding in end up that I am attacking him demanding answers. I came to him because I know I need help before I lose him. Bu I feel if I keep going this route I may lose him anyway. I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I dont. Maybe I should have never came to him about this. Today is a really bad day because he works on computers for a living and he has been out for 2 days working on peoples computers. What if he has downloaded porn from their computers. We dont have internet at home, I have to go to the library to get online. But he has gotten porn from his customers computers before. So what if he has done it again… and I was trying to fight the urge to look , but I failed. As soon as he left I was trying to look on his computer this morning. And the only thing I could think of wen I couldnt find anything is that he is a computer genius, so he can hide it if he really wants too. How do I stop this. I was abused in the past and that is why I hate the subject so much… before anyone goes telling me that maybe I should try watching it with him. I had it thrown in my face, been compared to it, you name it. Abused in every sense of the word. He is the only man I have ever found to treat me right, but now I am finding it hard to trust him because of all this.. how do I trust that he wont lie to me again about this? How do I stop the overthinking about it? How do ai stop wanting to check his computer every hour? God I need to stop!!!