In November if 2017 I lost my mom unexpectantly.  My mom was my best friend and biggest supporter in everything that I did in life. My dad passed away unexpectantly in February of 2015 of a heart attack. I found myself lost and wanting to end my life and just be with my mother in Heaven. I struggled to get through the expectations of the day. Getting out of bed seemed like a waste of time to me. Than an unexpecting person someone that I never thought of that would care showed up in my life. Her name was “Theresa” and she knew me through school but, she became more than someone you just pass by in the hallways she was like hey you still haven’t been to school why not. When I explained what I was dealing with she pushed me to go see a therapist. She even went with me to my first appointment and encouraged me to keep going back and to deal with my feelings. Over time things started to get better and “Theresa” and I built this wonderful friendship. We would text everyday to see how each other was doing and once a month we would hang out together. Than her and her family moved two hours away. What I thought was going to be a disaster turned out to be a blessing because I was able to visit for the weekend once a month and really started enjoying becoming part of their family. Than they told me they were moving back because no one was happy with the jobs or schools that they were in so I got even more excited. Than it happened! Everything changed when they moved back. “Theresa” started changing the foundations of what our friendship was built off from. She never followed through on any of the promises she made to me about still hanging out once a month. If I didn’t text her back immediately after she texted me she wouldn’t talk to me for day’s, It was ok for her to post up on social media the things that she does with her family and other friends but, if I posted up something on social media that another one of my friends and I have done she would question me about why I didn’t invite her. She would start sending hateful text messages saying that I am a bad friend that if I didn’t do what she wanted when she wanted it that I didn’t appreciate her when she was there to help me out when I was in a bad spot. She forgets how her family borrowed thousands of dollars from me when no one else would help them out and they knew I came into a little money after my parents died. She forgot I was the only one of her friends that figured out once a month how to travel and see her when the rest of her friends abandoned her when she moved. She forgets how many nights I stayed up until 3 or 4am talking with her because she was so unhappy in her new town and new school. We had a special bond and we were great friends and now that has all ended all because I cannot meet all her required needs of me. I am sorry that I am not good enough! I am sorry that I cannot text all the time because I have classes and little by little have been trying to build my life back up after everything was taken away from me. I am sorry that I decided to join groups and extra curricular activities that would help build me up and look good on resumes.  The loss of a friend at any age is hard. I know more friends will come and go and the ones that are meant to stay in my life will but, this one hurts the most. Why does life have to be so hard? All I wanted was a friend and what I got was an mental abuser. I will survive and move on. However for now I will let the words run off this page like the tears down my face. I will be ok and it is what it is. I have to keep telling myself that. Thank you for listening.

1 Comment
  1. julian-alli 3 months ago

    Nobody should have to go through that, I am so sorry for what happened to you. If I could help I would. I wish you the best in life.

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