I have been alone for most my life truthfully , never confident with women and severely paranoid with lack of self esteem.
My mother died in 1999 , that basically blew my world apart , she had raised me and my sister , as my dad was at sea most of the time.
It didn’t really register until 3 years later when i had a nervious breakdown and attempted suicide , thankfully my dad found me and got me back on track , i have never forgiven myself for putting him through that.
I had geshalt therapy , which helped , but i still am not 100% , never will be. I’m not looking for sympathy , just wanted to say how i am.
I looked after my father until his death in 2006 , my sister is wonderful and careing but it’s not easy talking to family sometimes. we moved home to a house he loved , but was in it for less than a year , which makes me sad.
I found a special someone online and our relationship developed , but after being alone for so long i piled all my love on her , this was a mistake and i am truthfully ever so sorry for being so needy and full on.
We are now apart and i have to accept it…..We are very good friends , but she has big problems with depression , ironically it was the long chats about our depression that drew us together , but i now feel i add to the problem now. i need to let go no matter how painful it is for things to get better.
Hopefully i can find some people to chat to on this site , and don’t worry i’m not looking for anybody , just friendship.
From the bottom of my heart , please take care and get well soon Angel.
Chat soon hopefully xxx