i hate this, hate being here, hate being alive. i hate everyone and everything. but… i found someone. well, we found eachother. he's all i could ever ask for. he's amazing and sososo increadible. i love him, just as he loves me. but… it isn't like that. we're not in love. there's some signifigant peice to our connection missing. the part that would make us inseperable… it isn't there. he cares, and loves me, and is always there for me. i ca go to him, talk to him about anything and everything, he won't judge me, he always supports me, and he's there for me… so wouldn't you think that would do something to change me and my screwed up self? shouldn't such the drastic impact he has on me be enough to at least think before i bring the blade to skin? he helps me survive every day, always knowing what to say, how to encourage me to keep trying. but it hasn't altered my thinking or helped ceice the unbearable pain inside… but for now i'll just continue to hold on to the hope and trust i've invested in him… i'll wake up and smile, all because he deserves at least that much. i mean, he deserves waaaay more, but i have nothing left of value to offer. he's done so much for me, yet all i can do to repay him is constantly complain and go on and on and on about what i'm feeling and how much my life sucks, all because he cares and he listens and he loves me and i love him… i wish it could be true love, but i've accepted that love is entirely outof our control… so, for him, i'll live and go through everything day after day after day after day after day after…………
-
Time to get to it!
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Anger, Career, Weight Loss, 1
I applied for that job Thursday evening. It is now Saturday afternoon and I haven't heard anything back. I...
-
Lost
JA, , Depression, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Medication, Questions, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapy, 2
i got on this site to see how other people cope with this…i'm stuck and i dont know where...
-
This is me.
bluemonday23, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Self Esteem, 0
This is a blog about me. I'm sure there are some people that would laugh at how blunt that...
-
Lost in life and negative towards others
KirstKirst, , Depression, Career, Depression, OCD, Relationships, Self Esteem, 0
I'm not even sure where to start this. I'm sad for a variety of reasons and its making me...
-
I always come back….
Mz_Unda_Std, , Depression, Child, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
Here. I always go periods of time that I don't sign in here but at some point always come...
-
First Entry…
JustMe84, , Depression, Bipolar, Child, Depression, Psychosis, Therapist, Therapy, 0
I really don't know why I'm here. Guess I was tired of bogging down my other online journal with...
-
I’ve lost myself completely
Judas91, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Parenting, Relationships, 2
To whom this may concern: I’ve never done anything like this before so I’m hoping for at least decent...
-
My Hell
sistapoetry, , Depression, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, 0
I will be 30 next year..and If my life doesn't change..then I will have to put myself away..So many...