I had an accident yesterday, I was getting into the car and there was a lot of broken glass right by the door so when I went to get in my foot slipped on the glass and I took a tumble.  I ended up with stitches up my leg, up my hand and arm, in my cheek and forehead….I looked worse than I was but boy am I sore and hurting today.  Well before my daughter Dana came to pick me up at the ER she got onto DT and told everyone there what had happened.  I don't know what she was thinking!  I was a little embarassed to go in last night but only one person asked any questions so that was ok I didn't want anyone making a fuss out of it so if you know and didn't say thank you….

I went to the psychiatrist today and told her about how Dana is taking such advantage of me by leaving all the housework to me while I'm watching a 4yr old and 3 month old grandsons and then when the little one goes home I've still got the 4yr old cause they live here with me.  She works late comes home and sleeps till time to go to work again.  I've gotten on her about it many times but she always goes back to doing it again.. maybe she should have all the pain I do and try doing all this that I do…the other thing we discussed was my ex and I'm afraid that one got me.  I couldn't stop crying but I was so angry at  him…he's the one that told me he wanted to stay best friends and that he had been seeing someone else while we've been apart and right before he was supposed to move out here. he lied to me, lied to me and I don't forgive a lie very easily, can't trust again don't know if I ever will…God I'm glad he didn't go thru with moving out here now!!!  I think the crying part is over now.  I think I miss all the things and places we used to go and do and together all the time but the angry cycle has started and it actually feels good to be angry at what he did and how he lied to me so maybe this will get me over him?  Who knows how things will work out I never do my mind can't help me I live in nowhere land in my head anymore.

I also told her that I'd had bad thoughts during the biggest stress time of self harm, cutting and we talked it thru and I've decided to stay clean it will be 4 months now.  So I'm happy about that she gave me some tips on  how to divert the thoughts and I also have people in here to talk to when things get bad.  Thank you DT people you're precious….


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