Something amazing has happened.
I have learned how to love another person.
I never dated much in high school. I always found faults with the people who were interested in me and pushed them away.
Everybody told me my standards were just too high.
I think it was some sort of subconscious defense mechanism. I'd find faults with them before they could find all the faults in me.
I blamed Disney movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about love. I blamed my father for giving me trust issues when it came to men. I blamed my small town for having no dateable guys.
And then along came Ben.
Ben is not perfect by any means. He can be irritatingly goofy. He's got a giant ego. He's more than a little obsessed with sex.
But I love him.
I love him.
It blows my mind.
I have finally learned how to love another person.
I have learned how to trust another person.
I have learned how to let another person in. To let them see the real me.
Ben knows me. He knows my secrets. He's seen me in my most vulnerable state. And he's still here.
When he kisses my hand and says "I'm not going anywhere," I believe him. I trust him.
There are some mornings when I wake up and think this is all just another dream. I've been single for so long, I'm not used to being in a relationship.
I'm not used to being happy.
And you know what?
I am happy. I'm really happy.
Ben has taught me not only how to love another person, but also how to start to love myself. How to accept my flaws as things that make me unique, instead of things that make me horribly imperfect.
And that's something.
It still blows my mind.
I'm in love.