yeah i know i never write and will be almost unintelligible cause on the laptop and typing is a pita. im still crazy. well, duh. lol. im on  welbutrin, anafranil, and abilify now. was forced to get off of effexor and xanax earlier this year when my psychiatrist dumped me and i had to scramble to find a new psych. the effexor had bad enough withdrawl and side effects that i don’t miss it. the xanax… well thats another story. i was on up to 4mg a day for almost 2 years. my psych was kind enough to send me a last script to wean off of it. his idea of weaning is very different than mine. 40 days of going down, down down and then off. maybe he’s overly biblical or something;)

so took a few months of rescheduled appts at 2 doctors and a referral to the SMI (seriously mentally ill) program in Arizona. now, a few months later i am going to multiple docs there (never the same one twice, not yet at least) and after all these doctors have scribbled on my chart they each seem to add a new diagnosis on! some make sense, give me a bigger umbrella to fit my habits in.lets see. borderline personality disorder  (which sooooo fits!), periods of disassociation (not quite multiple personality but still!), post traumatic stress disorder, ocd (duh), add (thats new), and the usual gad and sad and mdd. although those 3 might just be the others relabeled. fun huh.


so, one tricilic antidepressant for ocd, not really doing anything but regulating my sleep, which really is a huge deal as insomnia from hell before it. one A/D for smoking (welbutrin) which does help but not completely kill urge for cigs, and an atypical antipsychotic (which i asked about care of reading on here and other msg board places.) nothing earthshattering yet. dry mouth, sweating (ewww, like hairline, nose, lower back icky strange places), less insomnia but waking up hella early lately no matter what time i go to bed…and maybe a little weight gain (or that is my excuse). Fun, fun.

will write again soon, i hope. ty if your got this far.



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