So I'm doing better today…if you could call it that. Hypomania is so seductive ~ it makes you forget you're not well. How could you NOT love that feeling after being depressed most of the time?
Today I'm actually more grounded and calm, but I'm tired from all the busyness and activity from the last 3-4 days. It really does take a toll on your body, especially with the lack ofdesire for sleep (even though you do need it). So I'm mellow and ready to take a nap.
My husband and I had an argument this morning; a minor one. I allowed Zachary to stay home this morning because he was exhausted and I wanted to give him the opportunity to get some more rest. We all have days like that, at least that's how I felt about it. But when Aaron got home from work Zachary and he had a talk abouthow important it was to go to school even when you're tired. I felt put out and a little angry about being overriden in my decision to allow him to stay home, but he'salreadymissed 5 days this semester. He can only miss 9, which is a lotIthink, butwe're going to go visit myDad and Aaron wants tohave extra breathing roomin case Zachary gets sick.To visit my Dadwe're going to keephimout of school onthat Friday to spend 3days over on the other side of the state. I finally conceded that he wasright, but then there wastears and frustration to deal with, which hurt my heart. It made me feel like I had lied to my son whenAaron overturned my decision tolet him stay home.
LuckilyZachary pulled it togetherpretty quick when we reminded him he only hadto be at school 4 hours today and only had 3more days this week to get through before the weekend. That cheered him up a bit, which I was glad for. I hatedropping him off at school feeling miserable. It makesme miserable too. Guess that's all part of being a Mom thought.
Last night I did a lot of decorating the apartment, whichmade me proud. It's starting to look like home. Even though it's only a one-bedroom place it's turning out nicely. It's weird, because we have our own place, but it'sthe downstairs of my Mom's house. My stepdadturned it into anapartment to gain income about 8 years ago. It worked out really well for us because when I was so sick we had our own space and I could be alone when I felt the need to, or go upstairs and be withpeople if that was my need. We're considering staying permanently…but it's not a definitedecision yet. Mom would refinance again and add 15grand to it topay off bills and get it offher back, but I don't want to be tethered to any one specific situation if things change. And everything changes ~ that's the one true constant in life.
I'll finish writing tonight if there's anything interesting to say or if my head is full of things that I need toget out. Hope you all are doing wonderfully.Thanks for reading… ~ Key