I was sitting at my computer working on a paper for one of my classes while listening to pandora. The song save tonight came on and all of the sudden I found my self thinking about how the song paraleled a situation that occured with me not to long ago and about the exsperience itself. It hurt then it still hurts now I know its the past and it isn't changing I just wish things would have come out differently. I wanted to hang on to hope that it would so I waited and hoped and that hope helped to keep me going but with closure comes loss of hope. When I used to go into that memory it used to not hurt because it wasnt really a goodbye at the time it was more of a be right back now its just a sad goodbye I couldn't accept and I'm left wondering if that was always what it was on his end or if it didnt start out that was just finshed like that. There's a boy that fancys me…he's great with a few exceptions but im still haunted by the ghosts of things that I wish were different. Its not the fact that I cant change the past that is killing me at the moment it's more the fact that it seems like no matter how hard I work at reaching anything I seem to fall short. The weight of past failures or, dress rehersals for the main event as I like to frame them, are weighing heavily on me. It's hard to keep trying with enthusiasm when all past attempts have come out wanting but I keep trying anyway thinking things will be different but it's getting to the point where I start wondering how many times does one have to stick their finger in a burning candle before they learn it hurts them and quit doing it?
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Sunday good too
BeOptimistic, , Depression, 0
Sunday went well. Sometimes Tom and I can have an entire weekend without so much as a bad look...
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Emotional Anorexic
depressednstressed, , Depression, Relationships, 0
I just realized that not only am I anorexic with food but with emotions as well. I purge myself...
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Gone
LexieLove, , Depression, Anger, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Questions, Religion, Suicide, 4
I have come to this place, as I walk an uncharted path. It seemed so selfish to unload this...
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Just here
blah, , Depression, Therapy, 0
Still here. Just called out of work. Should have gone. Couldn’t. MADE myself get up and take a shower...
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Back to Basics
Starpixie831, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Infidelity, Relationships, Suicide, 1
So it's been a while since I have even been on Depression Tribe. Most of my tribe friends had...
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Worried
GetBetter, , Depression, Career, Child, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
I'm really worried. I know that I probably shouldn't be, but I'm worried. It's currently 3:28am and I'm here...
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I miss it so much.
Rhy, , Depression, 0
I really miss how it was before. I thought I hated it, but god, what I would do to...
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Try
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Career, Depression, Therapy, 1
PINK ~ "Try" Ever wonder bout what he's doin? How it all turned to lies? Sometimes I think that...