its been a while since i last blogged. sorry guys i hadn't been on much but i have been having light days and i have been seizing the opportunties to make changes in my own life and as a result the tribe got put on a back burner. I have been trying to repair friendships, relationships with family members as well as try to improve myself by building better habits and get out of my weight loss rut. i've been yo-yoing with my weight recently and i have been trying to get it back on a downward trend to my goal weight of 120 pounds. Also school has been keeping me busy i am taking a 1/2 semester course i guess you could call it that but its a condense version of a full semester course into about one month ish. I have been going to my behavorial therapist and i have been seeing some major results as well as a trust being slowly built up there. slow but i don't really want to go fast right now. The last two days haven't been very good. as going with the trend that i have noticed when i started my therapy when one obession and complusion is slowly going away another i guess i could say "on the back burner" steps up and goes full throttle rather than just linger in the back ground. it happened when i was working on my door checking and when that got pretty much solved it happened again with the new replacment being religious problems. once again i am having a hard time sleeping. I will say this it is not as intense as things have been in the past i guess i really am on the mend. i just have to get through all the crop ups and i'll be good. Since my RA diagnoses i have thrown myself full trottle into improving myself on all accounts hence why i haven't been on here much, because i don't want to be pinned down by this disease. but since all i have is a knee that only acts up on the rare occasion the only thing i can do is continue what i have been doing. i have been very worried about my friend someone who i care very deeply for and is very special to me. he is currently over in afghanistan and i worry about his safety all the time. everytime there is a news report one the news or i find an article online about afghanistan i jump on it and make sure nothing is wrong. even though i talk to him often. which is another reason why i have not been on here much i've been talking to him as well. Things for the most part have been positive and i have come to accept and consider a good thing my RA diagnoses i say this because it was caught so early i probably won't ever suffer too badly from the disease (hopefully) and since i got diagnosed family members are now getting tested and hopefully it will be caught early for them if they also have the disease. Things i guess have been pretty good for the most part except for the OCD acting up yesterday and today. surprisingly it is not as bad as i keep expecting it to be. but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. but i am getting the tools i need and the confidence i need with my therapist. ok i think i am done rambling for now.