I have been trying so hard to get better and get the correct help that I need only to get stone walled each person and orgnazation I ask! Today I spent the better half trying to advocate for myself and I have to tell you that I felt like shit! I was sooo tired and Mentaly exousted that I had to stop and rest! I am so sick of these please and people whos job it is to provide help but they will not meet me or offer me anything that will work: Everyone wants me to go in person to there office and right now I can not do that I have been trying but everytime I get soo sick and give up and makes me even more depressed! I have tryed so many times to get out but can not go far. I push my self but have nothing to show for it but making myself sick. There has been so many times I have thought about going to the hospital and admiting myself but I can\'t seem to bring myself to do that also! I can\'t live this way much longer I\'m getting worse and feeling like i\'m loosing it! Here is a letter I wrote and sent to everyone I thought might be able to push and help me to help myself! I did that today so I\'m praying somthing happens positive because I\'m allready all most out of medicine and I dont\' no what else to do or try!

October 5^TH., 2010

Dear:

I am in need of your help please to get the help that I need to take my life back! I have really bad Anxiety, Agoraphobia and depression I am also house Bound that has been going on for 4 years now 2 of those years being treated, but to be honest not really because Finding help in Rhode Island for my condition is not available and it is so sickening what I am going through and my family is going through. It should not be impossible to get help and better, just advocating for myself alone I am so tired! Nothing sir has changed from then to now for me., I am HOUSE Bound

I am not SEEING ANY DOCTORS!

I am not seeing a psychiatrist or receiving any kind of Counseling services!

I am not ON THE CORRECT MEDICATIONS!

Soon I will have no Medications because the doctor I was seeing will not prescribe them and wants the Kent center to take over and The Kent center will not help me because I am not able to go to their location in person. I brought up to try and use the web cam idea but they shot that down without a second thought. I am so tired and don\'t know what else to try or do. I\'m trying so hard not to give up on myself but I\'m out of options and at this point there is little faith and hope that things will change for me because of the system and Rhode Island! I am Unable to find and get the help I need, I cannot find it! I have tried MHRH and even the RIDLC They will not bend or meet my disable needs!  PLEASE I AM ON MY KNEE\'S, AT YOUR MERCIE BEGGING YOU TO DO SOMETHING, I cannot live this way anymore watching time go bye, days months years, Please help me 2 help myself

Adam