I’ve been having a difficult time connecting to what’s been bothering me and the reasons why I feel triggered by things, people, and environments. The root is feeling and being misunderstood. It’s put me in a space of not wanting to be around people, serve, or even be alive. This feeling of being misunderstood stems back to being a child. I’ve spent most of my life being misunderstood and found ways to cope with the reality that most people won’t understand me and at times have been okay with that. This voice has started to creep back into my mind and steal my joy. The last time I felt this intensely about being misunderstood was 6 years ago. I was at the lowest point in my life and was willing to learn about GOD because no human being seemed to understand me. I felt alone. I lived in my mind! This has been my reality lately. As I was just standing in my kitchen making tea, I had a thought that helped me. I started to think about Jesus. I started to think, Jesus is able to understand being misunderstood. If anyone could talk about living on this planet surrounded by people who claimed to love him and loved him, but still being misunderstood. Jesus mission on earth was misunderstood. Jesus youth was misunderstood. Jesus preaching was misunderstood. Jesus relationships were misunderstood. Jesus relationship with God was misunderstood. Jesus very existence was misunderstood. And despite that reality, he still pressed on. He still persevered. He still fought for the good of others and loved the world in a way that had never been displayed before. I know I’m not Jesus but it brings me comfort to know that my savior felt misunderstood. It brings me comfort because it helps me to not feel alone in my suffering. It helps me to have hope that things won’t feel like this all of the time. I want this weight of loneliness and sadness to be lifted.
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