Things are beginning to fall into place with wedding planning. We spoke to a couple rent-a-revs and decided on one who was liberal enough for my liking and (hopefully) the liking of the minister from the church we booked. The guy we're going with is half the price of the Unitarian Universalist guy from the church. Sorry, I'm NOT paying $500 for some guy to perform a mock ceremony, where he doesn't even have to file any paperwork or anything.
Anyway, we met with a lady minister–DH liked the idea of us being married by a woman–but we were both unimpressed by her presentation and lack of thoroughness. She didn't even want to give us cerimony samples to look over at home until we booked her, which to me feels like a trap. Why would we pay a nonrefundable $50 fee to find out via email samples that we don't like it? Also, she slipped in (after we told her that we wanted our prior marrital status kept a secret–that she'd "just have to reword the very end, since we're already married." I asked, "Reword, how?" and she said she wouldn't know until she put it together.
Don't think so. We have A LOT of relatives who would be pissed if they found out that way. Take a hike, lady…
Bottom line, I needed 4 things from our officiant: 1) Pro LGBT marriage views–my Bridesman is Bi and the UU church doesn't want any haters either. 2) Someone willing to perform a handfasting ritual w/out being squicked over anything non-Christian 3) I need to feel like someone has this shit under control–the lady rev had all the right creds and plenty of photos of her cerimonies, but she didn't instill us with confidence that she wasn't going to be a huge fuck-up during crunch-time 4) Relatively cheap.
So, my mom still shows very little interrest, aside from asking "hows the wedding stuff going?" during one of her bi-monthly phone-calls. After she got back from Minnesota, my sister called me and put me on the phone with her, but after that initial, "how are the plans coming along?" she launched into a long tale of her trip–where I found out that her train ticket was $200, I think each way, not sure. Good to know her daughter's wedding is so low on the priority list.
My sister and I have been talking about how not there my mom was when we were growing up. Like me, it stumps her that she still has the capacity to be deeply disappointed when my mom says she'll do something and then backs out. In her case, it's when my mom says she'll come out and watch the kids so my sis and her hubby can FINALLY go out and then after they make reservations, my sister has to pry a confirmation out of her, only to get a reluctant "well, I can't really make it this time because____."
I wish I could tell her what she does (has been doing) to us, but she breaks very easily. When do the kid gloves get to come off with her?