I tried to write yesterday but the whole thing froze and I didn't feel like retyping it all. That's incredibly frustrating to me and seems to be happening a lot lately. I think it's God way of giving me a lesson to pass. So I stopped being friends with my best friend. She started this huge fight between us over a social media status and I knew that couldn't have been the only reason why. I'm the midst of us ending our friendship she finally let me know she's been mad since my wedding, that I didn't make her my maid of honor, she was just a bridesmaid. How pathetic I think to be mad over something so petty. I doubt she would have even had me in her wedding at all anyways. She said a ton of nasty things to me which I thought to be bullying really. It's clear she doesn't understand anxiety or anything that comes along with it. Here's just a few comments she made

-Keep your name out my mouth??? Bitch i dont fucking think about ur sorry pill addicted trying to have kids but cant even pay my own eent without mommy lmfao.

-Youre a sorry mf if u ever thought u was a friend to me. My bad for ever being there for such a miserable pile of shit

-Bitch get off the pills and the high horse and hust MAYBE god will bless you too.

-Sad???? Bitch fo find a zannjy and get drunk with ur husband

-Go put ur daughter on more pills too so she can be just like mommmmmmy lmfao

-go cry a river you depressed ass bitch.

-Pregnant or not. Ill be the first to tell you, you aint shit.

-No wonder ur parents hate u too. Not just ur friends

I didn't respond much because I don't get satisfaction from putting others down, but I can say honestly after hearing all that I've heard, I'm glad to have taken the garbage out, I am probably one of the nicest people you could ever meet, always helpful and going out of my way to please others. Just sucks that I was friends with someone for 10 years who was so nasty at heart and I didn't know, sometimes breaking up with old friends can be harder then breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The good thing is because I didn't get nasty or say anything rude, I feel amazing. For not stooping down to that level. I'm better then that and I'm trying everyday to be a better person.

OUR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM SUCKS,

On another note, this morning I almost had an anxiety attack because my husband had a dentist apt. And had to renew his license and we have no money. Like none. None in the bank, and I've maxed my credit card. He had to cancel his appt and they wanted $67 for canceling, such a bunch of bullshit. On top of all that I know my thyroid levels are off, my appetite is screwed I hate eating anymore, I could sleep all day, and I'm having other symptoms but again were broke so I can't afford to go to the doctor and get blood tests and more meds. Etc etc just trying to remain in faith and positive that we'll be able to get our credit card paid off and begin the process of finding a new house.