I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression as a little girl. I have been going to therapy and counseling since I can remember. My only problem is that going to therapy causes me to panic. I do not like to open up to people when I first meet them. It takes me awhile to get comfortable around others. People always think I am so shy, however, it is just my anxiety kicking in and causes me to panic. I can be the most talkative and laid back person when i get to know people. I take medicine daily. I hate taking it however. I feel like the medicine is making me who I am instead of me doing it myself. If that makes any sense. I have panic attacks just about weekly. Sometimes I could just be watching my favorite tv show and my heart starts racing, I get really shaky, and sometimes just cry. I have no idea what is causing it at times, it just happens. I hate when it happens when I am alone because it can be very difficult at times to calm myself down and get my mind back on track. It makes me feel so alone at times because a lot of people just dont understand. They try to understand but they dont always get it. I have lost a lot of friends over having anxiety and it has damaged a lot of relationships that I have been in. Many of my relationships have also caused my anxiety to be worse. I have been in physically and emotionally abusive relationships so it is very hard for me to open up and get comfortable around people I like. I have a fear of people just up and leaving because they cant deal with the anxiety attacks or just dont simply want too. My anxiety has made me feel like I am not good enough many many times. I am hoping one day I can find the right friends, and hopefully the one that will understand me and my anxiety. I want them to like me for me.

5 Comments
  1. kkoala-93 4 years ago

    I could have written this myself it hits so close to home. I feel for you, remember your not alone in this even though it feels like it, that’s what I tell myself. Chin up! It will get better 🙂

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      nicole3 4 years ago

      It’s hard to find people who actually understand. Most people don’t just open up about it. But thank you for the advice! I will definitely keep that in mind. If you ever just wanna talk, let me know! ☺️

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  2. Geekgirl114 4 years ago

    I really feel for you! My anxiety comes and goes, but is usually managable. However, my best friend struggles with anxiety on a daily basis. She often txts me or calls me when she is having a panic attack and we just chat to keep her distracted. I’m sure you will find someone who understand you and likes you for who you are! So many people struggle with mental illness, they just don’t talk about it. No one would know about my OCD just from talking to me. Hopefully you find someone to open up to, but don’t beat yourself up about it in the meantime!

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      nicole3 4 years ago

      I really appreciate it. Means a lot. it’s a struggle but I know we can all get through it.

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  3. clw3w23 4 years ago

    Your story sounds so similar to mine. I have had anxiety my whole life and was officially diagnosed when I was 16yrs old. Ever since I have been on meds and my life has been a roller coaster I can’t get off of. I’m 32 now and life is still really hard for me. I don’t know if it will get better but I’m going to keep fighting like hell. I wish you luck on your journey and know you are not alone in this.

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