and of course I was dreading it. Yeasterday as I was standing in the parking lot of home depote holding a bag of cow poop, Some guy hit on me big time. It felt great. I havent been hit on in a very long time. 🙂 I have not felt attractive for about the last 7 years so that has giving me a little pep.

The other half of my birthdsay unbliss is that I have to go back to the city this week so i can be with the boyfriend. Even though there is nothing ever celebrated . Eat take out food watch god awful jerry spinger that he tapes to watch for later . Talks about going out and doing things then goes to sleep for the next few hours and i go online and sit on the computer. This is my every week, every celebration, every hoiliday. Every weekend I am there. Eat and sleep and wonders why i am over weight.

Oh and fight – it goes from not cleaning, not working,me being over weight. Lack of sex.

OK kiddies cover your eyes. Do you want to always give a blow job and maybe perhaps just perhaps lay on your side and move lifless and quite.Most of the time I am just giving that blow job . That is BORING !!!

He also gets jeliouse over my dogs alot because i spend time with them and not all the time with him. Zzzz

He is always screaming about replacing me.I doent hurt me, but he does theraten me with the dogs.

I know he is one of the biggest problems with my anixity. But he holds the medical covrage I need for my breathing proublem and the fact i cant work all the time. If I leave I will not beable to pay for my house that i own that has been in may family for some time. Disabilty will want that and my car.

This blog id you can belive it , was suppose to be a happy one. About my bithday about the garden i want to pupt together, how i feel so much better here in the county the always washing th blood off my car and watching the cops put someone against the wall of my building.

I know you cant run away from proublems, but it sure does help here. I am happyed, the dogs are even the cats. When I am here i hear about how i spend electric here and money on food ang gas. ( i would spend food and elecrtic in the city too) Gas i only use a lot of it because he is dead set of going to the buffet 40 miles away to and back. When he is here :/ .he eats out. if he actully eats in he eats large perpotions and i that i could eat a weeks worth of food from and bitches out the money ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

i am trapped feeling beyond that i should. i hope clozipam works cause i an un edge, its fummy cause i would never call it anity just pent up on edge