So from my last blog (if you read it) I had a dr appt today. I cut my self back on ativan to taking it only as needed. So I go to my dr appt for my med check and he asks how things are going w/ the Ativan and i tell him that it wasn't working for my GAD so I cut myslf back on it to only taking it when i had an attack. That it didnt really make the panic go away but helped aleviate the worst of the feelings. He didnt look happy. He then said "so i guess you still feel the same" and I say yes. I said i've only needed to take the Ativan 4 times since he perscribed it and that I didn't want to be on something all the time exspecially if it wasn't working. He didn't like that I was telling him how i was taking it on my own schedule. He then said because none of it was working he was putting me on an MAOI patch. Which i've not gotten the perscription filled yet. He said i could "keep taking the silly ativan as needed if thats what I wanted" but didn't perscribe any more. I'm pissed and disappointed in his attitude towards me and the way he talked to me. I was having a shit day to begin w/ and this didn't help. I dont know what to do…I told him what i wanted and i'm a goddamned pansy that didn't really stick up for myself, i did what he wanted in the end. :sigh: Maybe I should give this patch a try. God only knows how much this shit is gonna cost. I have to wear a new patch daily. I feel stuck. It took me like 3 mo. to get into this doctor, he seemed okay the first visit I had…and now….what! I just wnt to be on something when i get a panic attack. I dont want to be on something 24/7. No one seems to get that!

anyways, thats my dr appt.