I’m back again and posting, which is good I guess. But things aren’t going so great. I still feel like I’m treading water and my friend and I (Who were hoping to move out in the summer) have let go of our plans. I feel trapped in this place, like I’ll never leave this awful apartment. I just want some time to be alone, and relax. I just wish there weren’t people constantly breathing down my neck to do things or get things done. I just want a break from all the stress.
I’m doing better in school though. Honest. I have been really busting my ass and trying hard in all of my classes, and it’s going really well. I’m managing to pull up my grades or maintain them, and that’s good. I also signed up for a belly dancing class and I really enjoy the structured excersise. I’m still working too, and that’s going well enough. I am not in trouble or anything at work, and I am actually able to save a little money for christmas presesnts for my friends. I’m feeling pretty good over all, but I’m still worried as to if I will get into college or not.
I think I might be slowly getting over the crush I have on my distant best friend also. But I’m not sure if it’s good or bad. I feel good that I might finally be able to let go of those feelings and be a good friend, but I do have a crush after all, so letting go of the feelings feels like giving up, and that’s awful. I’ll just see what time will do. I do feel rather lonely though tribe, I haven’t had a date or anything in ages and it’s frustrating. I think I’m not entirely objectable, and surely there has to be someone who would enjoy my company? I just wish I had someone to talk to more often, maybe even someone to cuddle with. Sometimes I think maybe having that sort of connection with someone would sort of fill the void, and I know that’s foolish. But I can’t help but hope.