I am so worried and upset and also confused its the same problem again.
Work is becoming really stressfull and hard to cope with all because of one person i cant work with.
I enjoy my job very much i get a lot of pleasure looking after older residents caring and helping them. and although i am being bullied by one member of staff i get on well with all the others.
The problem is i cant work with her without feeling angry bitter and upset. I have suffered with depression for a number of years but have found ways of managing it somehow. until i moved house and started my present job. I am now finding i am depressed more now than i have ever been but it is now affecting all parts of my life my relationship with my partner, my job and being able to better my life or even enjoy myself.
I dont believe the bulling is the only problem that is affecting my mental state but i think it is taking me over that edge. I have always been a nervous person espically with change. Over the last two weeks or so i have found mostly when i am at work or on the way to work i am getting myself that worked up that i am physically shaking to the point other people notice my hands or feel me physically shaking i also have started feeling sick and having breathless episodes sometimes with pain in my chest. I have also been told by one of my fellow workers that if i dont do something i will end up having a nervous breakdown. This really shocked me but i am not sure.
I have made an appointment to my drs but am not looking forward to it as i have never been able to talk to people or open up which is very much my problem but then i am not able to tell the dr how i am really feeling. I also never seem to make an appointment with the same dr which makes that more difficult as u have to start all over again. I have never been one to take medication but i know sometimes it is a must. I have been given two types of anti depressants before one of which i stopped due to bad side affects the others i just stop taking them.
I dont want to be a nucience or a burden to anyone and find i am causing more problems for other people which i hate i want to feel better and i want to enjoy life but i cant see the future clearly. I want to leave my job and i dont want to as i enjoy it when the bully isnt in . I feel so alone ………….x.x..x.x..x.x