I’m sorry I disappeared for so long, I really am. I have been swamped with school and things, and I was doing well! I was doing okay with my grades and was even elected captain of my academic decathlon team. I felt pretty stable, and busy, and that was good.
But I’ve been withdrawn from my school and transferred to one closer to my father’s house, which isn’t good. I don’t want to be stuck in this one bedroom apartment, and now I leave from here and come directly to here from school, a drag. Really, I just wish it weren’t so.
I’ve been working for almost six months now. Six months tomorrow.
My current bank balance is 24.97. Total. Checkings and savings. Piss poor.
My mother currently owes me around 2000 dollars, that she spent on general things and booze. I’m miserable, six months of work and I can buy a CD. That’s it. I feel like I’ve been robbed tribe, I don’t think I can do this any more. I started working so I could be independant and hopefully move out with a friend in the upcoming summer. But I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t have the funds, despite the fact that I work so hard. I just want to give up, I can’t keep this up. I just want to curl up and disappear.
Some people daydream about someone swooping in and solving all of their problems.
I just daydream about being able to work hard and solve mine. But it seems that no matter how hard I try I just get set back again.