Hi everyone! Im new here.. Im so glad I found this place..its really like a relief almost. From the time I was little I was always the "different" child or should I say the "worrysome" child. I usedo get sick often and complain,cry and be in tears…my parents would get tired of this. They would take me to doctors and even psychologists. In primary school,I refused to speak to anybody,I was shy and didnt want to be at school…I wanted to be at home playing with my dolls and being in my own imaginative world. My parents obviously thought something was seriously wrong with me. I HATED pyschologists..hated being there for 2 hours.playing mind games while they wrote down notes about me. I hated my parents for taking me there..I knew NOTHING was wrong with me..but nobody understood…..

My teenage years were HELL..I think it was the worst time in my life. I went through so much and it brought me down. I had bad grades and just hated being in school amongst people who lied to me and stole from me. I never made a good friend in school…people would pick on me even boys too. I had an ex bf who cheated on me, i stayed with him for 4 years. The worst 4 years of my life…I began to hate him…my parents didnt like him one bit. I tried to commit suicide one night but the pills didnt work and I woke up the next morning feeling even worse and bloated! My life was falling apart and my family never spoke to me except if they wanted to call me a rubbish,trash or disgrace.

Years went by and I felt so so alone. I broke up with my now ex..it was hard but I had to so it, I was so fed up of him and his lies! I wanted to be away from everyone..i started to hate people and guys especially. I wanted to run far away and never come back. I had a brain injury sometime that year..it made me feel so DIFFERENT and weird. Nothing was the same..my mind felt BLANK and zoned out. I became more reserved..more shy and had no confidence in myself. Numerous other health issues arrived…from my ears being blocked to tinnitus to weakness in my body. It was neverending. I would search up on google and try to find symptoms of whats wrong with me…i searched and it made me anxious. I was in a world of my own..slipping and having panic attacks. I would think i was getting a brain tumor once and actually had the symptoms or i thought i had them. But no i didnt..i was actually making myself sick when I was healthy. Ive had a rough time in my life and I hope things get better for me..just somedays I sulk into that depression and think of how bad a life i had.

However I am better now and I have a job. Just living my life the best way I can. I try to be happy and God has really helped me overcome the bad things that happened in my life. Im now stronger,wiser and I feel great. I guess those were some lessons I had to learn in my life. xoxo