Hey N, For every day use pronouns seem to be quite basic, and they feel like a crucial but necessary starting point for how we think of other people and ourselves.
~♥~
When I am alone, inside my head I am she/her. When I am in public I feel a need to shift this to how people “expect” me to be, as “S” I have to pretend to be male & he/him. I feel like I need to make a constant effort to appear male, “stealth mode” is a term I have heard.
~♥~
Pronouns can be a bit of a puzzle for me to wrap my mind around, especially in an abstract sense. Literally, they are simple. As a concept they get way more complex.
~♥~
In my mind (imm) the idea of a pronoun really takes no particular effort, it is simply how each person thinks of themself. If I am not sure about a person I need to pluck up the courage to ask, “Hey ___ what pronouns do you prefer?” For the longest of time I thought of myself as “Other”, I just did not fit anywhere. Now I tend to think of myself as she/her. But when I am not sure, which happens more that I would like it to, I revert to my “safe” pronoun of “one”.
~♥~
For me, How I think of this body may change, and this is okay!
~♥~
For me, some days are simple, I wake up as Iris and am she/her all day. Other days it is a struggle, I might wake up feeling like S & he/him, and then while eating breakfast this heads towards Iris & she/her. It’s like a dial inside my head, Male on one end and Female on the other, I seem to have no control over when this will change direction.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Change in topic~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first book I encountered that describes gender fluidity in a way that makes sense to me is ‘The Symptoms of Being Human” by Jeff Garvin. Jeff did a great job of describing how it feels to be me, the dial metaphor is from his book. I have listened to it numerous times as an audio book, the narrator did a great job! I even found a hard copy.
~♥~
If I changed my clothes to keep up with this internal fluidity I would feel a need to change clothes maybe twelve times a day. It can be exhausting!
~♥~
It takes a swerve in thought to get past just how twisted up these feelings inside me are.
~♥~
The longer and better I get to know people, the fewer labels pop into my mind when I think of describing them. I simply think of them as their name: instead of “that goth boy” or “the horse girl”. Ian is Ian, and Joann is Joann. gender expression, orientation, and religion are not even factors in how I think of them. 🙂
~♥~
I am trying to stay focused, but it is hard!
~♥~
I know my mind is off rambling somewhere, I need to go catch it! Hugs – Iris