Please help.
In the past, I have struggled with addiction to food, which I have realized I am battling worse now. I have gained 50 pounds in the last year (I was already about 20 pounds overweight when I started the uphill climb again). This has caused a strain in my relationship. This has also caused me to revert back to my bulimic habits that I had when I first started dating my husband.
But, a friend has pointed out that I have started using shopping as a way to cope with the depression that has onset from the issues in my marriage from eating too much. Unfortunately, this has caused an even bigger divide in my marriage. I thought hiding my spending would be easy. It isn’t… My mother-in- law is a shopaholic with her credit cards, I have noticed, so I try to take after her. But it seems that is just making me feel like a I fail more at life, as myself, and with my marriage.
I know that I can control myself if I really wanted to. I was a vegetarian for a year and a half, and it was the most healthiest time in my life. I felt I was able to control every aspect of my life at that time. Should I go back though? I have let every aspect of my life get out of hand.
I’m also thinking of turning to a close co-worker for guidance, but it is a hard step due to my fear of being judged. I know that has made a big impact on seeking help.
I can’t afford to see a therapist due to my insurance. But my primary care does have me on an anti-depressant and an anti- anxiety, as I also struggle with multiple anxieties. I feel like I am at a loss right now. I know I’m out of control and I really just need help to save myself and my marriage.
Can anyone provide me advice?
Food is the worst drug because of the many kinds. I struggled with over-eating for years with no luck. But, I had an epiphany.
“Does anyone even know about what I’m doing to myself? Have I opened up?”
The answer to both of those questions was a big, fat no in comic sans.
When I realized this, I calmly approached my mom with my situation and she got me help.
Yes, I am from a privileged family with good insurance. But does that make my advice invalid? No!
You need to open up about this immediately. If you don’t, you’ll end up diabetic and obese, and most likely your marriage won’t last. You need to talk to a friend, a family member, someone who has the ability to help you. I understand your situation wholeheartedly, and Ive given you what I can. Im only text on your screen after all.
I hope this helps.
– Purae
“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul