Im not quite sure how I feel about this yet, but I figured I need to talk to people that know exactly how I feel. Its 6:39 in the morning and I have yet to go to bed because I was feeling anxious. I tried to go to bed with my husband and laid there for about an hour before I felt like I was gonna jump out of my skin. My mind starts racing and I get super hot/sweaty even though Im cold. I have been suffering from this disease for over 6 yrs and Id like to think Im getting a better grasp on it than I did before. The doctor has put me on many different medications from Zoloft to Xanaz, but Im not one for pills and I had a horrible epsiode on both that made me feel like I was having an anxiety attack x 10. The only thing that I feel helps significantly is alcohol, which angers me, I hate alcohol. I dont want to be considered an alcoholic, or dependant. Its just one of those things I get more anxious about giving up because it helps me cope. I just dont get why I have anxiety. I have a great apartment, I just recently got married to the love of my life, a great family, we dont suffer from money problems, and Im generally happy…. Im just terrified of having my next anxiety attack. I almost always get my attacks at night when I have some down time to think… I "over think" which kills me. I also get my anxiety when I think about not having an attack. I dont know how to explain it to my family or friends because they think Im crazy, and at times I think I am too. Its the most frightening feeling ever…. I wouldn\'t wish this disease on my worst enemy. The only peace of mind I have is that there are other people out there suffering from the same exact thing I do…..
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Its time to beat this!
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In a snow storm in December 2009 I wrecked my car. I was driving home at night on a...
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I wish someone would have told me that life was hard. I try to be happy but sometimes I...
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Sometimes I feel like all I am is a fraying patchwork of unsustainable and untenable coping mechanisms and defense...
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I am writing this because I have no other way to get out my feelings. I keep my feelings,...
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Okay- Apparently I have attachment issues. I swear to you, everytime I meet a new guy I end up...
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So I’m very out and open about being a lesbian and I usually am able to just scream it...


















