So I went to see my new family doctor today. I'm actually really happy with her. She's young and super nice. My old family doctor was condesending and would insult me and make me cry. She listened to all my problems, decided to have a more extensive appointment for a psychological assessment to see which mental health issues I actually have. She completely understood how frustrated I am with the system and how one day you have help and the next you no longer do. I can see she is determined to help me. I'm so grateful for that.

Regardless, I'm still feeling really shitty. I really want a dog. I'm so so alone with no one to talk to or love. I know if I had a small dog that I could love and take care of, it would love me back. It was also give me motivation to get outside and exercise and maybe start doing something a bit more with my life. But my parents won't even listen to me. Before I can even get the words out of my mouth it's an automatic: "No, we just got new floors and new furniture and absolutely not." The truth is, the floors aren't new and they're wanting to put carpet down anyway, and they're looking to get different furniture anyway because that's not new anymore either. I just can't make them see how this is something I need. I'm going crazy and I need something like this to keep me grounded and sane. If I had even just a small dog to call my own, to take care of, and to love, I have a feeling this might be better, even if it's just a little bit.

I'm so fucking sick of people not listening to what I need. I cry for help and everyone just turns their head. This is why I don't open up to my parents or anyone because no one listens either way.

I'm just so lonely. I need something to love, to talk to. I know a dog can't replace human companionship, but it can definitely help to have a different type of friend there for you. I know a number of people who have the same problems I do, and their dogs have been saviors for them.

God I'm just so frustrated and angry!