It hurts so badly when the one person you could tell anything and everything to tells you that being your friend is exhausting. I don't choose to be depressed, it consumes me even at times when I'm around happy people. I get upset because I want to be happy like them, its not jelousy or envy its more like I admire it. I'll be happy but when I'm alone my depression comes back and sometimes when Im not alone. I choose not to self medicate, even though that may help me. I'm in denial I suppose, where did I go? Wheres the fun, happy, positive me? I've been like this for about 3yrs. Lost two important ppl to me, went thru a seperation all within this time. Whatever happened to unconditional love for a friend. I didn't betray her,lie,mistreat or say anything offensive to her. I told her how that comment made me feel and that I was so sorry she felt that way about our friendship. We were friends for 23yrs. My grandmother passed away this January and I told her via text. She said sorry via text back. Didnt hear from her after that until today. Now she ia losing a family member and when she told me via text, I didn't text back (although I wanted to tell her to go f herself), instead I went to the hospital to show her support. Thats a real friend in my opinion. She saw me and cried like never before. Here she is confiding in another new friend yet her old friend was by her side. I went to hospital because God told me to forgive. I was so angry and hurt for so long because she abandoned me when U needed her the most. I feel better but still sad. I dont look at her the same and never will.

3 Comments
  1. yirah 8 years ago

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. You've been a good friend, and you did the right thing. *hugs*

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  2. vinyljunkie 8 years ago

    I lost 2 lifelong friends a few years back because of the way i am.

    Last words were 'We have put up with you for soooo long!'

    Still miss them now.

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  3. lonelylove 7 years ago

    Thank you for your kind words

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