~~Yet again I’m left in my room crying alone giving up on my family my mother the bitch I do love her but all I seem to do is disappoint her because of my sisters depression I don’t like new people and my own depression I don’t like people and places today we went shopping and I was good by the more time I spend their It was my sister and mother making all the decisions for me what to wear to 6th form and what make-up till my opinion didn’t matter anymore I was getting it and that’s the end to it so when it came to trying clothes on I didn’t want to go in by myself and the person said 6 things at a time to me so I went back to my mother and sister saying it and all they did was bitch at me and leave me there in a place I didn’t feel comfortable telling me to find them and disappearing so I tried my clothes on and went to find them and they just ignored me leaving me out of the convocation and I still needed to get more stuff but mother made me go home and as soon I get home I go to my room to be alone away from all of them my sister comes into my room having a go at me saying I ruined a perfect day for her and mother ……… did I do anything wrong or am I just the one she blames when things don’t go her way even thought I was the only one supporting her through the depression in the beginning even thought I looked after her when she took to many meds and hallucinated . She is the betrayal that hurts worst, she is the one who makes me think why bother? If all the good you try to do get thrown back into you face why the fuck should u bother? I don’t know what to do any more and all I want it to do is just stop and for it all to be over. Does this make me a bad person when all I want is this to stop?
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