I feel sick, my head is thumping, my heart is pounding and my hands are shaking just thinking about it. I feel so distressed and angry!! One 'man' last year made my life a misery by brutally harassing me throughout my college year, as if trying to become a female decorator isn't hard enough, i was made to feel horrible, dirty and a slut by him. At first i admit i liked the attention, but he took it completely the wrong way. It started off with hugs and when he didn't let go i panicked saying' i can't breath'! I mean he's a 37 year old married man!! i was 19!! disgusting. He was fuled by my fear and carried on..he would kiss my neck and push me into the wall. Stand on my feet and cover my mouth. He felt me struggle but he pressed harder. I would dash to the bus stop at the end of the day and desperately hold back my tears, and let it out when i got home. His harassment grew more and more adventurous and more violent by the day. And any self confidence i may of had, hit rock bottom! Sometimes i would meet my boyfriend after college in town which killed me, i had to act like i'd had a normal day at college..he still has no idea. As his ego grew my dignity plummeted! He thought it was okay to touch me..he thought it was okay to push my into door frames and stamp on my feet and squeeze me till i felt faint. i feel SICK talking about it but i can't talk about it with anyone in real life unfortunately. i wish i said something at the time but its too late, he's probably moved on..but here's me haunted everyday at college by what had happened. Some days i can't face it and it winds me up cuz i want to learn but can't deal with the pressure. it's like he wants me to be scared forever, well you did a pretty good job! If you ever see this blog, i hope you regret every movement you ever made on me you scumbag! :'(
This thought is with me every single day it kills me.