Well, it's another typical day. I hardly even get out of the house anymore. Except to take trash out. :p This place is like a prison, but at the same time it's home, so it's okay for now. It's kinda sad though when I think back on the life I used to have. I used to go skating years ago. I used to draw more. Oh and not to forget taking drum lessons for a coulpe years. I don't even play anymore. Of course the only one that can fix those things is me, but I just don't feel like it. I've fallen into a rut and don't care to try to get out. It's quite a comfortable rut, I must say.

After 4 PM and I'm really just starting my day. Went to sleep after 5:30 last night. After 6 hours of sleep I seem to feel good, but my sleep addiction makes me go back to sleep. It's just feels like such a terrible thing to get out of bed and start another pointless day. So I go back to bed and feel more tired then than I did before. So I got up, have a little food, and here I am now.

What is good about today? That I CAN just stay at home and do nothing. Sure it gets boring, but lasy year was pretty lame. Nothing fun. Just working, studies, and lots and lots of doctor''s and counselor's appointments. Those are gone now. Now I just have to focus on my studies to try to get done in time. But some days I just really don't have the energy. Today I feel tired. Not sleepy tired, but completely drained tired. Zombie tired. I just want to lie in bed all day.

Another good thing in my life? My cat. She's pretty the only real friend I seem to have anymore. Many thanks to Mouse. :p

Last night I started a private blog where I take my own feelings and things in my life and make them into a sort of ongoing story. Like the big problem in my life is a big dragon the flies around my home keeping me from going anywhere or doing anything. So I'm excited to have a new way to look at things and deal with what';s going on. It was quite fun.

Well, I better at least try to get something done today, even though I really don't feel up to it. Must remain strong, right?

1 Comment
  1. SeatoSky 7 years ago

    I admire your optimism even though it was a tough day energetically!  I just want to say thank you for writing the words "zombie tired". It made me feel like someone really understood that level of emptiness and being drained.  

    I also like your ways of using creativity to deal with your feelings.  

    I hope some things have lifted since you wrote this.  

    Stay well.

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