I have toomany thoughts running through my head, it hurts. So its time for me to cleanse my thoughts.Let go the negative and make room for the positive. ahh where to begin? i haven't written a blog in a year? my reason for this, i found someone i could actually talk to: talk truths, talk nonsense with, laugh with, tell my secrets to with no judgement, cry to,…everything. Plain and simple, he is…was the perfect listener, advisor, friend, and lover. now, i don't know.for several monthswe hadrepeatedconversations of 'where we are heading' in this relationship that turn into argumentsonly tobe dealt by ' leave it, we'll talklater'. the 'later' came and we both agreed that we need to take time apart. now, now i'm hurting because i feel like i'm losing my best friend, my confidant. he was the first person to helped me accept/deal my ocd and social anxieties. he really made me feel confortable 'being me' and that was a hard thing to do.why do things have to be so difficult. i only hope that we will still be friends.

ok now that i have that out, next is the OCDupdate: (1) i manage to stop wiping every surface in my apt with clorox. sucess! no more ruin furnitures or chemical burns on my hands.(2) my 1hr showers are nowthe thing in the past. yeh, saving water! years ago it was 4hrs (yikes! i know) then it gradually reduced to 1hr last year to 40 minutes now. i know, 40mins is still long, but its still a work in progress for a person with mysophobia. (3) i now eat fresh fuits with minimal fear. before, i only ate canned fruits. (4) minimal panic attacks on public transportations. i still fear catching something byriding thebus. so whenever i panic, i put in my earphones and listen to music. music therapy is a life saver!

so glad for my sucesses, they weren't easy to tackle but i'm glad i did.

"You gain strengh, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

  1. Dent838 9 years ago

    Hi Leisk.

    Sorry to hear about your relationship struggles.  It really is great when you find someone who can accept you, relate to you, knows you better than you know yourself… Maybe there is still some hope there for you two. 

    But good job on your successes.  It's nice to look back and see that progress has been made, isn't it?  I have many of the same problems.  My showers topped out at 2 hours a couple of years ago, but I can knock them out in about 40 minutes now too.  Whoo hoo!  I've had some foods I've avoided in the past too I've loosened up on.  Still use plenty of wipes, though I prefer Lysol.  Clorox ones are too slippery!  🙂

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  2. jes 9 years ago


    conratulations that you have rid over ocd which is actualy dificult to do, great……..and about relationship, being apart is a part relationship.

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