so, did half of my ritual thing, and i didn't lose with my lil problem, but i got out of bed late today, and obviously since it's 3 in the morning i didn't get to bed on time. i did do my ab workout though, so i feel better about that, working with the kids is doing well.

i'm so tired of everything guys, i'm hitting the wall were i just don't see much point in anything right now. But it's cool, i'll pick myself up over the weekend. I really need to let myself love again, i miss it so much, but i doubt i can. I dono. i'm being whiney. i'll shut up

i have to admit i'm starting to like this blog thingy, see i've been having a hard time expressing myself in written form for a while now. it use to be my big self therapy tool that kept myself from doing lots of stupid things and just feeling balanced. but a little over a year ago, my mom went through my journal. Goodness i hate her so much at times. but anyways, went through my journal, found out i wasn't a virgin, and then proceeded to attempt to destroy my soul and whatnot. she SAYS that she picked it up off the kitchen table, and it was open, and she say a picture, wondered what it was and read a line or 2 while she was "putting it away" such bullshit, first off, i don't let my journal lie around anywhere like the kitchen table, much less open! 2nd off, the line she quoted to me off my journal, was on a different page then the one with the picture -.-' dumb bizznatch. but yeah, since then i've had a hard time expressing myself in written form and it's really been hurting me, i've missed it a lot. well, i'm gonna go to school in 2 hours. night!