keep getting this scary feeling and it's the worst feeling in the world. It's only when i'm outside at night and it's only when it's cold (normally winter). I'vehad it since i was a child. it feels like a memory of something iv definately felt before and i feel it different amounts. When i'm wearing winter clothes like hat and warm coat and boots i get it more. When theres grass i get it more. When i see the sky i get it a LOT more. It's not a fear of the dark because i have that as well and i only get that indoors and it's a different feeling. In the last couple of years i've been getting it more and more and it feels like a major warning. I used to only get it once a year. When people make me feel a certain way or their eyes gloss in a certain way it makes me get it the next time i have to walk outside in the dark and cold. I'm desperate to know what it is but when i get it it's so horrible all i want to do is get away from it and i can't help but block it out. i try to warp with/ into it when i feel it because a know how much i really want to know what it is. It works untill it gets so horrible that i change my mind and it blocks me from being able to get it again when i try. Maybe when i was a child i was staring at the sky for ages and having a panick attack or something or was lost i don't know. The only feeling i can interpret is the complete aloneness/ cut off from everything type feeling but this unawareness type feeling as well. It just feels like evil, thats the only and perfect way to describle it.
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i know what you mean, i just need to know what it is so i can relax or i'll keep getting it and i hate it
yer thats true, i just wish i could control my mind to remember because i really don't want to get that feeling again or remember it at a bad time and be scared again, oh well, it's stupid how we can't even operate our own minds