It's 1:15 AM. I'm not sleeping. Why? Well, because I couldn't calm down enough to do so. So, here I am, on the computer (yes, I know I really shouldn't be sitting in front of a computer screen because my brain could misinterpret the light as a sign that I SHOULD still be awake…but this is better than the alternative, which is just sitting there on the couch in a stupor letting my mind go crazy and my worries just keep cycling through my head). I am, however, drinking my sleepy tea and I took a diphenhydramine (Benadryl/Simply Sleep [by the makers of Tylenol and Tylenol PM]/over the counter sleep aid[slash tranquilizer slash hypnotic slash sedative slash anti-emetic that turns you more into a zombie than anything]. Wow. That's a lot of brackets and parentheses and slashes.

But anyways, now I've got "Hammers and Strings" by Jack's Mannequin stuck in my head because I always think of it when I can't sleep. I identify with the lyrics because I know what it's like to be an insomniac. I was an insomniac through a lot of high school. And on top of being so tired from constantly waking up at night, I was on meds that turned me into a zombie. I seriously felt like the walking dead some days. One day, a former teacher of mine, who I was talking to about something, sent me back to class and told me to go to sleep and if my teacher had a problem with it to have them call him. Oh, those were the days.

In the song, this girl, a friend of Andy's (the lead singer of Jack's Mannequin) calls him up and asks him to write her a song, a lullaby. She says, "Give me something to believe in / A breath from the breathin' / So write it down / I don't think that I'll close my eyes / 'Cause lately I'm not dreamin' / So what's the point in sleepin' ? / It's just that at night, I've got nowhere to hide…" It's heartbreaking. She doesn't feel like she's alive (at least that's my interpretation) and I know I've felt that way before. And then Andy says, "To the sleepless this is my reply / I'll write you a lullaby." This song brings me to tears sometimes.

And, as if the chorus isn't already enough to make you cry, the second verse goes, "And my friend calls me up / Her heart heavy still / She says, 'Andy, the doctors prescribed me the pills / I know I'm not crazy / I've just lost my will / So why am I, why am I / taking them still?'"

I don't know what more I can say. That song speaks to me, just like most of the songs on Jack's Mannequin's CD The Glass Passenger.

Okay. Going to try sleeping again. G'night (hopefully).