I am going to keep this short because I just have too much going on right now, and if you would like to talk further, you can just direct message me.
For the past few months I have been completely overwhelmed and consumed by stress, constantly being demanded of so much from others and myself but never being able to live up to the expectations, sleepless night after sleepless, self-harm after self-harm, nothing I do seems to please the void inside of me and it continues to eat at me more and more. I was on the verge and planning to take my life because no matter how many times I tell myself of the bright future I will have to are people say it, I can’t even look myself in the morning without seeing it just eat at me and leave me with this feeling of complete unworthiness to keep breathing the same air as other people.
But I could not just leave all of the people whom I made promises too that I would keep fighting for. So many people are relying on me right now and expecting things of me, and even though I have fallen on my knees now and I want to just stay forever, I would be giving the devil exactly what he wants by becoming a fallen angel if I take my life. Not only that but I would also have lied to all of the people I promised I would be there for, and I have never been known as someone to lie to the people I care about.
So I will not be saying goodbye yet and will continue to fight this battle that feels like it is going to be a war that will last my entire life, I just hope I will have people on here in my corner still when it is all over.
Thank you for reading this and another thank HUGE Thank You for those who reached out to message me and see what was going on, I am sorry for not getting back too you but rest assured I am not going anywhere just yet.
you’ll be okay , jason01. life is all about failures (ask me about it -_-) but fighting life is our real job!! i hope you’ll get better!! and dont ever worry about failures!! – its always called the beginning of success! you keep on tryin and tryin – one day – you’ll be able to overcome your greatest fear!
i wish you luck!! and please DONT think about taking your life !!!!!!!
I am used to failing, doesn’t mean I am not from them. It’s exhausting and I haven’t had a chance to recover. Tell me about some of your failures? What sorts of things did you learn from them? And me taking my life truthfully will always be at the back of my mind, but I would never actually attempt anything, at least not again.
I know how you feel when you say that you are on your knees doing things for people, I am the same! I have a hard time saying no to people and I end up burning myself out completely because I hate to let people down.
I have been through so much and I’m only 26 years old, I have experienced things I wish I hadn’t and sometimes I wish I could go back and change things but we have to just keep pushing forward, stay strong!
Yeah it’s rough, I definitely do struggle saying no to people because I just want to help everyone and sometimes I don’t care about how I am affected in the end. Letting people down is something I fear, and me never feeling like i’m good enough doesn’t help.
Well I hope things are getting better for you Jessiie, i am only 18 and I have been thru hell and am still going thru a lot, but if you can make it to 26, why can’t I? And yeah I will keep going, I have too many relying on me to give up now.
You can make it! It was hard for me to get where I am today. I still really struggle with anxiety, but things to get better as you get older. Hang in there, but don’t be afraid to put yourself first!
I really do hope things get better or maybe a bit easier as I get older. I definitely do need to work on putting myself forward, ugh I suck at that. I will continue to keep fighting!
Hi Jason,
I get you. I feel like that sometimes, too, where it’s an uphill battle and I’m not saving my life for my sake. Thanks for fighting for me, and for yourself, and for being a great example of bravery and determination. I seriously hope that some of the stress and self-loathing will get better and that you’ll be able to feel that you deserve good things. I believe in you;)
I will always fight for you and those people who think no one cares about them. I will always care about people regardless of how little I know them. Every human deserves a chance. A chance to be respected. A chance to be happy. A chance to live a fulfilling life, and if I can be the person to offer people this chance and support, I plan on doing exactly that.
Thank you for being here for me, and not leaving me <3. I couldn't ask for a better friend and we will both be very happy one day!
Dude, stress is Hell, I totally understand.
It may try to drag you down, but it won’t succeed. It wasn’t here first, you were, and we’re not gonna let it take you over! You’re so strong, man, if you made is this far, you can make it forever. We’re a family here, we’ll fight it together, all of us. We are humans, we aren’t perfect. But we are perfection. If you ever need someone to vent to, consider me a wide-open option 🙂 Keep on, man, don’t trip on a blade of grass! You’re strong! <3
Indeed it is!
I felt like stress has been with since I came out of the womb and over the course of my life is has just been blooming and blooming. Thank you for the kind words and I will definitely reach out to talk sometime, but yes I agree I can’t let stress win. I will continue to fight and keep moving forward!