The fear of a biopsy is one of which worried me more than the results… odd to me that we so worrie about what is going to happen on a test and not even consider it is for the good of our health. My fear was blown out of range as the two weeks till I know the results is life waiting to be lived. I know that to live one day at a time is the only way to go but i find myself wanting more than I can have in one day…. until I recieved a phone call today telling me that my brother in law has 3 weeks to live. He starts chemo tomorrow and Dr. give him maybe a yr with treatment. My heart goes out to him, he is the sweetest man in the world. cancer has taken over in him and he didnt even see it coming. I ask myself why didnt he get tested like they test me every six months? Or maybe he has hid the fact. I dont know, I do know I have always liked him and surely would not want to see this happen. Makes me feel selfish to be concerned over a stupid test and yet he has to face possible only living 3 weeks……… makes me remember the passing of my husband, his brother, our friend who died, his mother, and then another friend who passed. Realizing were all living to die. What is controling the timely manner of our death? our spirit, or our soul or our will to live? Oh so many questions. so little time. Where is the soul I seek to love and be with? Time is waisting……. theres fun to be had, love to be felt….. where are YOU?
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Bleh
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