i can't handle today.
i was going to call in cuz my anxiety & depression are tag teaming me and i feel sick … i thoght i was going to throw up this morning but i had nothing in there.
I am sitting here answering the phones w/ tears sitting in my eyes. 🙁 I dont know what to do…I dont even know who to talk to. I feel isolated and if i tell anyone whats wrong w/ me in life i am afraid they r going to pull away. I over reacted this morning….my bf left for work early but seemed put off…said he was leaving early so he could get off earlier so we could spend time together…but i was almost like he was saying it to make me feel better not cuz he wants to. I know i'm paranoid and this is probably blown out of proportion. I feel like i'm sinking, drowning. I told him i felt like he was leaving early cuz he didnt want to be around me and even when he told me goodbye he jsut said 'have a good day' no hug or kiss or anything like usual. I was laying in bed half asleep and crying and i felt like sucha freak. I feel out of control and I dont know how to get back into control. I'm afraid hes going to pull away because i'm clingy. I try not to be……..i really do. I can't help it that im a worrier and paranoid about the reasons he's not around 🙁
I just need to go somewhere alone and scream FUCK at the top of my lungs. that sounds like some good therapy right now. 🙁 🙁 🙁 i dont know what to do..or what to feel. I wanna go home cuz i'm freaking the fuck out…i've got cold sweats, my heart is racing, breathing is quick an das much as i try to get it calmed down i can't. My hands are cold and shaking and i'm so upset that i dont know what to do but sit here and bitch in a blog about it!
sorry…i feel like a burden on everyone around me. sorry i this brings anyone else down :(:( 🙁