In my head I feel really good and it has been for a little while , though in the mean time my OCD is on automatic. I find my self to go do one thing and end up doing something else, and while knowing this is not what I am suppose to be doing I can not pull my self away, I just have to finish. I have no regement and tried doing a list. I can not complain on the things I did get done ,even though thats not what needs to be done. I have to tell my self that its okay because now I do not have to do it ( rationalizing??) but in the mean time the responsibilities I do have to do or get done at a certain point are getting neglected. I want to keep the good feeling, but I also see others getting impatient, and I loose all my time concept so I am flying all over the place, this is a good manic for me mentally and I am trying really hard to stay focus. Although It is good for me to be active and at least I am accomplishing things. I need a balance here!! go with my emotions which is good feeling, but reality I am all over the place, I do not know my next move , I kind of fall into the situation so put up with why you doing that instead of this,and do you know how long you have been doing that? Supper should have been made already but not,or let it continue and keep riding the good feeling I have, and forget about the family and what they think or try to suggest for me cause we all know it does not work that way . I want them to focus more on the fact I am up and out there, and I am laughing and singing and participating ,and enjoying my gardening, or me in my corner of the room isolating and nothing getting done! frazzeld but still want to stay on this good run. Am I making any scense??? Brenda
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Yes, you are making alot of sense! It's how I feel, but usually I can not verbalize these feelings as well as you eloquently have in above text.