Well, things are…weirdly chill.

I went back to work this week, and my energy is completely different than the mess I left with. I feel grounded, more willing to accept the day as it comes, lighter, and seem to have adopted an attitude of “I’ll get to it when I can,” which is totally the opposite of my usual professional neuroses. Not to say I’m being lazy or not getting to my work. I just haven’t been waking up, rushing out the door, anxiously checking emails, and worrying about what the next day has ahead. I know this is in part due to feeling like I’ve adjusted somewhat to life with COVID, partly due to having less to do at work, and partly because I’m actually being kind to and taking care of myself. I’ve been waking up at 5:45am all week, doing my makeup each morning, picking out my outfits and accessorizing with jewelry, and packing my lunch. I realized when I was in that state of panic for so long, I didn’t eat lunch most days, hadn’t worn makeup in forever, and slept horribly. I wouldn’t even eat until I got home around 5pm, and y’all, eating right has been a game changer!

I’m trying to be intentional in noticing all that is going well right now so that when a problem arises that I might typically ruminate on or if I begin to feel stressed again, I’ll remember what helps. I’ll be able to implement all the stuff I’ve learned since being back in therapy, and at the very least, I’ll be mindful of my emotional state instead of pretending it’s not happening, shaming myself for feeling/not being perfect, and being irritable as all get out for way too long.

Grateful for the ability to receive the good in my life today.

Until next time…