I grew up with both alcoholic and drug addict parents, which is already hard enough. If I’m being honest, I can’t remember much of my childhood up until about 7th grade ish. I recently got diagnosed with depression and ended up relapsing after a year of being clean from self harm over the summer, but I’, now about a month clean again which I’m really proud of.
My entire life, my step mom has told me that my problems are small and don’t matter and I don’t have a right to feel anything other than gratitude for them and what they’ve done for me (my stepmom and dad). Its been really hard coming to terms with things like shame or anger and the fact that I can feel them, and I’ve developed a bad disassociation problem that roommate and I have been trying to work through, all without the knowledge of my parents.
On one hand, I’m really grateful for all of the things that I’ve been able to get help with, but on the other hand I just feel like however hard I try to help myself or others, I end up screwing up in the end ad it all just kind of feels hopeless. I’m hoping this website helps me escape my home troubles and can just offer me a place to let my hair down and feel like I don’t have to be this perfect, older sibling everyone wants me to be.