My head has been throbbing for three days and now my chest is even beginning to hurt. I'm crying and it's kind of hard not to say why but at the same time, it's very difficult to open up.

My Dad has always been a really mean, demanding, controlling person. Growing up around him was kinda hard. My brother and I feared him most of the time while we were really attached to our Mom. This angered my Dad but he was hardly ever around. He was either at work or out…

I remember getting sick once and needing medicine. Mom and Dad were both at work – because my Dad made my Mom get a job – and I called him to ask if he could bring some home for me when he got off work. We weren't supposed to call Mom unless it was an absolute emergency because her bosses were stricter than Dad's were.

He told me to call back closer to when he was done because he'd forget. So I called back at 7:45 and he said he'd get it for me.

When he got home, I asked if he had it and he said he forgot because I never called him back like he told me to. He was really mean and I knew I had called him like I was supposed to. I cried and I remember being so boiling hot that my tears felt cold against my skin.

My Mom got home shortly after that and had to hop right back in her car and run 30 minutes back to town to get my medicine. She was furious with my Dad but she wasn't allowed to say so.

He didn't take much of an interest in me until I was 16, when it was time for me to start driving. He hasn't left me alone ever since. He tries to tell me what to do all the time and constantly jerks me around. He's been harping at me for days and I know that he calls me all sorts of names in front of his friends.

I want someone to talk to but I've never been able to bring up my problems with him. I know that a lot of what is wrong with me and my life stems from him. I just want to get away. I have so long to go. 🙁

1 Comment
  1. snowdreamer 12 years ago

    Sweetheart my dad was like that when I was growing up and it was hurtful and hateful telling me I'm worthless and never would amount to anything and then my sister had nightly beatings and I got what was left when he was done and my mom would just go in the other room so she didn't have to watch.  He told her what to do and when and how and still called her stupid and how damn pitiful he had to take care of us cause we couldn't….I didn't leave home till I was 21 and got married and didn't realize then I was marrying a man just like my father, oh what a mistake.  After 20 yrs of marriage I threw him out for physically beating my son.  My father still thought he'd run my life telling me if I was smarter I might make it on my own but that I knew nothing.  It wasn't until 5yrs ago he had a heart attack and other problems that kept him in the hospital.  I had a lot of time to think about him and why he was like he is and realized in that time his mother treated him the same way and she controlled the house and my grandpa just like my dad controlled us and my mom. Then I felt sorry for him having to grow up like we did and decided I would forgive him because this brush with death made him realize he had alienated all of us.  I forgave him and we have had a really good relationship since but now he's dieing and won't be around much longer and it hurts….

    I was just wondering if maybe your dad had grown up with a parent like him, if it's really his fault or is he just doing as he had grown up with?  Just a thought darlin.  Sorry this is so long but I felt I needed to tell you all this.  I'm so sorry you are going thru all this hell and I hope it ends soon you need something more positive in your life…

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