Hello my fellow tribers I hope your all having a lovely October, OCD awareness starts the 13th I believe! Well I finally got admitted overnight a few weeks ago at Munson Medical and finally a doctor may have found my problem gastritis. I still have a follow up appointment, even though I'm feeling loads better since they put me on an acid blocker and nausea pill even when I don't take them. But I'm a smoker, coke drinker, spicy food lover chronic worrier so really I set myself up for this haha. I'm trying to quit smoking it irritates my stomach a lot. I guess I'll go to the appointment for any further needed answers, tests, closure on this horrible awful chapter in my life that was the summer. I'm looking for work again yay! But you tell me if you had mental illnesses and went through all of that stuff, wouldn't you feel traumatized? I surely do! I have had panic attacks everyday since Munson even though they were my saviors. I guess it's the OCD constantly reminding me and doubting everything its such a pain in the ass. I have these little miracle low dose xanax I only take a half when needed because I'm extremely sensitive to meds like I take baby aspirin for headaches, haha and a whole xanax puts me to sleep and it's literallyonly 0.5 miligram. THESE FLIPPING PANIC ATTACKS THOUGH! My gosh is anything so horrible?! Everyday feels like an uphill battle I have one like every hour. But you know what my life isn't the greatest atm, I got lots of problems but I am actively working on it, I am not ashamed to admit that I am not at my best right now it's better then saying I'm fine when I'm freaking out. BUT I do know all the positive things I am doing can only make things better so there for in closing I am not giving up. Happy Friday!