what a few days.
not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll start where my last blog took off.
I took an excessive amount of my meds. I didn’t go to hospital. I vomited quite a bit and felt quite ill, but i was able to pass it off as a stomache bug to my mum. I wasn’t going to tell her what happend. I’m not surprised that i’m still her, and that I didn’t end up in hospital either.
So yesterday was spent somewhere between the bathroom and my bedroom for most of the day. I obviously didn’t go to class.
Today, I handed in an assessment that was due. It was only two pages, so i’m sure i’m not going to pass. It doesn’t help that half way through it, MS Word decided to shut down on me without saving it. Typical.
While I was in town, i brought myself an Ipod touch and a few new Cds. Kings Of Leon, and The Fray. I’m enjoying it. Great musicians.
I have been feeling a bit wierd today. A bit like I’m floating around. Like a cloud floating in whatever way the breeze blows. I have been thinking abit about getting help, which for me is a big deal. I think I do need to see a therapist or something. There are things that I do that I know are unhealthy for both my phsical and mental state, yet these things drive me on. I know that sounds wierd. Maybe I need Rehab? Maybe I need better/different Meds or maybe I just need to see a therapist or councellor. I’m not sure. I know that if I don’t do something I WILL end up dead. That is for sure.
Its one of those things that I think every now and then. Is it the alcohol talking? quite possibly. It just comes down to that inevatable question.. Do you want help? Will you Accept help? and most importantly for me AM I READY TO ACCEPT HELP? somedays I think I am.. others not. I’m just in a state of complete confusion. Which, is actually not that odd for me. I know that these are questions that only I can answer, and I honestly don’t know if i can answer them yet. I don’t know if i’m ready to confront my past, present and future.