Just a clarifier for those of you that were worried about my last blog…

I’m not the violent one in my family.  That would be my mom. 

When I mentioned the start of WW3 breaking out,  I meant that she would completely go nuts on me and start in on how everything is my fault.  After hearing that for so long, I’m kinda’ starting to believe it. I merely stand there and silently despise her, taking whatever she says, and hoping that someday, somehow, I can get away.  I am going through school in a little bit (Fall Sememster) and will be working in a hospital as an EKG technician by next January.  Then, I hope to get out by Feb. or March, so no worries there. 

Some days are harder than others, yeah,  but then again some days are better.  not much,  but enough that I can handle the next few months.  

Whenever I talk to people about this problem,  my parents always deny everything, and recently my mom has started saying that I’m making this up.  However, if I’m making it up, then why did she inform our previous pastor that she used to whale the snot out of her kids?  

If she’s going to lie about what she’s done to her kids, that’s alright with me.  All that matters right now is that I know what happened, and that I break the cycle.  I’ve read in the Bible that whatever the parents do in moderation, the children will do to excess.  

I’ve read alot of child abuse profiles on adults that carried on beating their kids, because the abuser was the abusee as a child, and I refuse to let that continue in me.  Because of my parents, I will never have children, I absolutely refuse to bring a baby into the world, knowing that I will be like my mom.