Ashley: Writer's block sucks.'
(14:12:10) Ashley: I'll never write a book cause of it.
(14:12:23) Ashley: Well, more like procrastination/depression/no energy for me.
(14:12:31) Ryan: crap
(14:12:37) Ryan: why don't you write now
(14:12:40) Ryan: you aren't doing anything else
(14:12:49) Ashley: See above.
(14:13:04) Ryan: I write best when i'm depressed
(14:13:11) Ryan: and you aren't doing anything else
(14:13:14) Ryan: so that knocks out the other two
(14:13:27) Ashley: It's hard for me to do anything, really.
(14:13:46) Ashley: I haven't done the dishes, I haven't called Sallie Mae so they stop ruining my credit, laundry, etc.
(14:13:55) Ashley: It's just hard for me to accomplish things.
(14:14:05) Ryan: why
(14:14:59) Ashley: "Brain Fog"A depressed person may have a diminished ability to think, concentrate or make decisions.
(14:15:11) Ashley: . FatigueDeep fatigue or a loss of energy is a symptom of depression.
(14:16:10) Ryan: why are you depressed
(14:16:32) Ashley: Ryan. Seriously.
(14:16:40) Ryan: thats my point
(14:16:48) Ashley: Please tell me I haven't whined to you for nothing.
(14:16:49) Ashley: lol
(14:16:57) Ryan: you act like you have nothing to do but you simply choosing not to do things
(14:17:10) Ashley: I don't choose. It's just hard.
(14:17:18) Ryan: lol
(14:17:52) Ashley: You have no idea what it's like. It's easier said than done but I just have….this is like why I failed college. I couldn't do the work. Just doing things is hard.
(14:18:17) Ashley: Loss of energy Feeling fatigued and physically drained. Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.
(14:18:35) Ryan: well then you can either figure out how to deal with it or let it eat you alive
(14:18:38) Ashley: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
(14:18:42) Ashley: Read the symptoms.
(14:18:52) Ryan: i know what depression is
(14:19:09) Ryan: but there are also ways to deal with ti
(14:19:16) Ashley: Dude, if I really really could, I would love nothing more than to have a therapist and take anti-depressants. I just want the damn pills so I can move my fat ass.
(14:19:35) Ashley: I wanna live!
(14:19:48) Ryan: well you can't
(14:19:50) Ryan: so now what?
(14:21:13) Ashley: Exactly.
(14:21:37) Ryan: your on your own now
(14:21:43) Ryan: you are the only one who can fix this
(14:21:44) Ashley: thanks
(14:22:00) Ryan: so you can either waid through your depression or you can deal with
(14:22:17) Ryan: it's obviously taking a toll on your life
(14:22:31) Ashley: if I could help myself, don't you think I would have by now?
(14:22:37) Ryan: no
(14:22:39) Ashley: I thought moving here would help but it didn't.
(14:22:52) Ryan: you thought moving there would make things easier
(14:22:56) Ryan: but i didn't
(14:22:57) Ashley: I try. I've been working out, but it is hard to keep up with that.
(14:22:59) Ryan: and now you're there
(14:23:10) Ryan: why
(14:23:15) Ryan: why is it hard to keep up with that
(14:23:54) Ashley: The loss of energy thing, motivation, tired, hypersomnia, etc.
(14:24:21) Ryan: you use it as a crutch to not do anything
(14:25:57) Ashley: Oh yeah, cause I really just sit here and go, "Man, I really don't wanna be skinny and happy. Being fat and stupid and unhappy rocks! Oh yeah, I have depression! I'll not do anything!" My line of thought usually is, "Ugh, I'm so tired, I'll go later. (later comes) now it is too late. I just don't wanna drive. All my work-out clothes are dirty, I still have to laundry, and dishes, and clean. I still have to get my eyebrows waxed…"
(14:26:49) Ryan: you do all of those things
(14:26:50) Ashley: "I'll just go tomorrow or something." Or if I'm having a bad day, "fuck being fat or whatever, who cares, Matt still likes me, right? Oh well. I'll just eat less or something. Who cares. I'll just sit today."
(14:26:52) Ryan: not in a possitive tone
(14:27:08) Ryan: i'm just saying
(14:27:14) Ryan: you know you have problems and you refuse to deal with them
(14:27:27) Ashley: Yeah, cause I like them so much.
(14:27:44) Ryan: if you hate them so much then why don't you deal with them
(14:27:50) Ryan: "because I'm depressed"
(14:27:54) Ryan: well thats a terrible reason
(14:28:06) Ryan: your depressed because you refuse to deal with your shit
(14:28:10) Ashley: Nevermind. I know this is annoying. Damn it. I keep telling myself to shut the hell up and stop bitching at everybody with an ear. We dont' have to talk about all my stupid problems. So are you excited for Europe and stuff? 🙂
(14:28:26) Ryan: and you refust to deal with you shit because you are depressed
(14:28:32) Ryan: refuse*
(14:28:35) Ryan: naa
(14:28:43) Ryan: keep no dealing with your problems
(14:28:46) Ryan: not*
(14:28:50) Ryan: i'm gonna go