I may have MS.

My optometrist dropped that bomb shell on me two weeks ago. I went in complaining about a loss of sight in my left eye,complaining that my peripheral vision seems to be off and  painful eye pressure.

She did every test she could and couldn\'t come up with any reason why. She googled the meds I am taking for depression and anxiety, that also came up empty handed. Then she asked me about family history of MS; there is none but she still wants to send me to a neurologist.

 

The worst part about all of this, I do have other symptoms of MS.

This is now adding to my anxiety. Ten fold!! I have gone through the whole grieving process and then some. I\'ve been mad. I\'ve been mad as hell. I\'ve cried. I\'ve been in denial. I cried some more…

This may not be a death sentence, but this is a life sentence. Something I would have to live with for the rest of my life. SOmething that could give me very little problems. Something that could put me in a wheel chair.

To make matters worse my parents are very unsupportive…or in denial. I can\'t decide which. Any time I bring it up, they either try to change the subject or tell me to stop worrying about it, at least until I\'ve been diagnosed or proven wrong. What they don\'t understand is that this is my reality right now. My reality is that I am waiting to see a neurologist to have an MRI and be told whether or not I have MS. Something that will affect my children\'s lives. My husband\'s life and my life forever if it\'s true.

I often question why me. Haven\'t I been through enough? Five years of infertility, being told my husband has cancer, almost dying after emergency surgery, and much much more…

Now I\'m left to wonder if my depression and anxiety is actually a symptom of MS or if the MS symptoms are a result of my depression and anxiety…