im scared. to be myself around poeple, and even around no one. i been miserable for years. i know i got love to give..not love as in sex but love as human being enjoying all living things. I am afraind to show my true self because of judgement. some say that there shouldnt be a worry about judgement from other poeple but when you have been hidnig your true self for so many years people dont know the real me and it\'s to the point when a lot of the time i dont know the real me, in other words I hold back on letting my spirit flow freely. It\'s weird, hard, awkward to "all of a sudden be myself when others dont know "myself", my real spirit" Because of so many years of feeling and being the personality i developed from being sad, lonely, miserable, constant jugement from home and not being able to get away from it, reoccuring sad things from the past bad experience i had with medications and having no one to relate to me on that level, people who i let down because of those meds, people who i called "friends" when they are losers and did nothing good for me,…it\'s just hard to let things flow, meaning being myself….when school is out, and i move out, start a life of my own, of my own happiness, express myself and practice doing it, then I can come back to the people I care about and it will be "real" and my happiness will shine with acceptance and love in return like it was all normal. please, i hope that the ones i love stick around, whats left of them at least, and maybe i can get some back. live to breath, and apply all senses possible, use love as a 6th sense and life will never stop growing.