So, this past weekend, my family came to town to visit and while I did not have to host them, I did become their personal drivers though. I didn't mind that, even though I'm not that familiar with downtown and tend to get lost easily. I was afraid hanging out with them out in crowded places like the mall would throw my anxiety into full blast, but I wasn't that bad. Perhaps because I saw my family as my "safety people". So they were all supposed to leave Tuesday and my Aunt and Uncle were forced to stay another night from overbooking. My husband and I met them for dinner at this place we've never been to before, turns out everyone there dresses like their favorite tv character. Nacho Libre ran us through the dining room to our seats and we very….boisterous. Other characters would pop up at our table, through holes in the walls…..it was too much for me. My whole left side of my head started to pound, even the back of my neck, I started shaking and I felt so….hot. Like, not sweating, but like someone turned up the temp in my body. I felt like this once before and really thought I was going to die. We paid and took our food home. The meds my dr gave me for headaches didn't work and I had to sleep off most of the pain. Wednesday, I had.a hard time moving around (vertigo) and only the base of my neck hurt. I just tried to sleep it off, canceling my therapist appointment and everything this week. Yesterday I didn't do anything but take asprine and nap. I'm feeling better now, but at the restaurant with all the noise and people, I was ready to grab my steak knife and cut my wrists…and that scares me. How can I go back to work when a littlek excitement; which should've made dinner fun into a desperate attempt to kill myself from the pain I was feeling in my head. To make it more believable, think about how thunder crosses the sky and then you hear thunder, well, my brain felt just like that and the 'thunder' was the steady throbs of pain. I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way, but it feels like a heart attack. I'm scared to go to interviews and I can't work on.my business cause I'm afraid. Any thoughts?
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