Monday:
I expressed an interest in an emotional support dog to my psychologist again. She is supportive…unlike my parents. They have an amazing way of making me feel like an idiot in just a few minutes. I was looking into the types of dogs that are available. There is a chart listing 7 symptoms an animal can help with and how they help. Out of the 7 symptoms 5 apply to me:
Anxiety – deep pressure, alert to behavioral issues, grounding
Mood Swings – alert to behavioral changes, distraction
Apathy – tactile simulation, play, walks
Self-Mutilation – interrupt behavior, deep calming pressure, grounding
Social Withdrawal – initiate interactions, routine encourager, social ice breaker
And I would even consider Memory Loss a possible area.
I suppose I should have expected my feelings to waver.
My dad said he was most surprised by my reaction to him getting the job. I wonder what he was expecting…do I give the impression I would be unhappy. Given what I have put my parents through over the years and recently, they deserve some good news.

Thursday:
It’s obvious that most of the people on tv are beautiful/handsome and I’m sure they know it. As a kid I didn’t dwell on my appearance…my teen years have been different.

Friday:
Halloween…I normally love dressing up (the past few years it’s been black nail polish, black lip stick, a shirt with a Halloween design) and handing out candy to the kids. Barricading myself in my room for the night is sounding like a better plan…

Saturday:
Last night is over and some kids have pillow cases full of candy. I hope those who went trick-or-treating had fun. I feel like the number of kids who choose to dress-up and go around the neighborhood has been decreasing over the years. When I was a kid and went out, the streets were full and the majority of houses were decorated. Oh well
I was curious the last time Halloween had fallen on a Friday. I’m sure there has been one between 2014 and 2003 but the fact Halloween was also on a Friday in 2003 (the year I was diagnosed with depression) was a bit strange. I think I dressed in black including a skirt with chains and zippers I had bought from Torrid (a ladies’ version of Hot Topic). From what I can remember that night was all it should have been: fun, carefree and good weather. I wonder if today would be any different if I knew then what I know how? What I wouldn’t give to go back to my thirteen-year-old self and give her a big hug in an attempt to make up for all of the ones she is too scared to admit she needs. I was looking at the kinds of service dogs that people can adopt. There are even dogs trained to offer comfort, mostly for those who live alone and the ones that visit nursing homes. I think those are classified as Therapy Dogs.